3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
