I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
