It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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