glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We need to get me chipped asap
jump out the window naked night went bad
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