He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Quick, to the slutcave!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
3 2 1 whiskey
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
