How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I didn't notice because vodka
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize