do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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