I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
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I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
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I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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