garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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