so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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