it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
