It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
