so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Please, let me fuck your mom
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
