i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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