Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
