we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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