Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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