All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
