I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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