Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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