Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
