I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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