You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
