I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
