No, drunk sperm still make babies.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
