how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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