there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So much Jack, so little girl.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
wow bdsm is so cute
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