I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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