They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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