Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
