Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
