i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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