how can u be prego again
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
His nipple licking is glorious
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