The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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