just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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