is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
