you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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