i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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