sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
