the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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