oh fat girl friday strikes again...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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