You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
