you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
