Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize