I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Randomize
