rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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