It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
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I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
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At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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