there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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