Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
