I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
