Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
