hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm going to jail i love you
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
