he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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