3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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