Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
