there was a trapeze. enough said
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
