ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize