He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is Oprah even human
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
