Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
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Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
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It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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