he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
