I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
