You really coming over, don't trick.
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
