She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
My bed smells like the plague
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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