I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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